God Entrusts Us with Conversations That Matter
By Shafer Parker
Have you noticed how often we downplay the importance of human conversation? Someone says, “We were just chatting, just passing the time,” with the implication that nothing of significance took place. Or maybe we come to think that conversing with strangers is something to be avoided. “This guy on the bus was wearing a Flames jersey, and without thinking I said, ‘Go Flames.’ For the rest of the trip I had to listen to him gripe about everything wrong with the NHL.” But the greatest proof that people downplay the importance of human interaction is the constant attention paid to our phones, even in the presence of close friends and loved ones. We’d rather look at a picture of someone’s homemade banana split than have the conversation that could prevent a relationship split.
Conversations matter. It was a conversation between 17-year-old John Lennon and 15-year-old Paul McCartney that led, first to friendship, and then to the formation of the Beatles. A series of conversations between high school chums Bill Gates and the late Paul Allen led to joint business ventures that culminated in the creation of Microsoft, arguably the world’s most influential computing company. And it was an all-night conversation with J. R. R. Tolkien (or most of a night, anyway) that led to the Christian conversion of Oxford atheist, Prof. C. S. Lewis, who then went on to become the greatest Christian apologist of the 20th century.
One of the great reminders that God is at work in the world is to see Him do amazing things through ordinary, everyday conversations. And, as in all matters, it is Jesus, the ideal human being, who points the way. Take the story of the conversation Jesus had with a Samaritan woman beside a well (John 4:1-42). It’s important to remember that this conversation took place at the end of a long day of walking, and Jesus was exhausted. The original language shows that when he “sat down on the curb of [Jacob’s] well,” he collapsed. He wasn’t thinking about making converts. He was just thirsty, hungry, and tired, waiting for his disciples to come back from the market with some first-century Big Macs (Actually, it was all fish sandwiches in those days).
Then a woman came to the well with her bucket and Jesus took a chance. “Give me a drink,” was all he asked, and no one knows where the conversation might have gone had she simply complied. But in the plan of our Father in Heaven his request was the beginning of a conversation that led to amazing results. That’s the way we should approach every conversation with a stranger, first dealing with the issue at hand (“Give me a drink,” or, “How much is that doggie in the window?”), but always ready for God to make something of it beyond our wildest dreams.
This story also reminds us that we should not become discouraged if our first effort seems doomed to failure. The woman, instead of complying, decided to challenge the legitimacy of the entire conversation. “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” These two tribes didn’t get along. Specifically, Jews would not touch utensils once they were befouled by Samaritan hands and lips. It’s possible that the woman was being defensive when she asked Jesus about his willingness to drink from her cup, but it’s just as likely that she was eliciting information, trying to understand what was going on.
What Jesus said next may have surprised him as much as it did her. But Jesus sought always to be led by the Holy Spirit, and it’s very likely that he was inspired in the moment to say something entirely unplanned. “If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask Him, and He would give you living water.” It may not be obvious, but I think Jesus was partially answering the Samaritan woman’s question by explaining that she was in the presence of someone far beyond her comprehension. The clear implication was (1) that he was much more than a Jew, meaning he did not suffer from Jewish prejudices, (2) that he was in some sense God’s gift to her and the world, and (3) that as such, he could bestow upon her a kind of water she could never get out of Jacob’s well.
Here’s the hopeful part for you and me. If we are born-again followers of Jesus Christ, we, too, have the Holy Spirit. If, like Jesus, we are open to the Spirit’s promptings, we may find unplanned, yet powerful, statements coming out of our mouths.
“If, like Jesus, we are open to the Spirit’s promptings, we may find unplanned, yet powerful, statements coming out of our mouths.”
The woman was intrigued by Jesus’ claims, but still blind to the implications of his words. Her responses were entirely practical. “Where’s your bucket?” “How do you relate to ‘our father Jacob’ who dug this well?” If Jesus’ first response had shocked her, his second was even more startling. “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again,” he said (in his condition he probably said it with feeling). “But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again—ever! In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up within him for eternal life.” You can just hear the wheels turning the woman’s mind. “I still don’t see his bucket, but I like the idea of never again having to come down here for water. He’s probably a total loon, but I’ll play along. “Give me this water,” she said, “so I won’t get thirsty and [have to keep coming] down here to draw water.”
“Faced with what often looks like deliberate obtuseness on the part of people we’re trying to teach, most of us get angry and walk away, muttering darkly about pearls and undeserving swine.”
This is the point where most of us give up and decide spiritual conversations are a lost cause. The woman could not have been more blind to the spiritual truth Jesus was teaching, and faced with what often looks like deliberate obtuseness on the part of people we’re trying to teach, most of us get angry and walk away, muttering darkly about pearls and undeserving swine.
Thankfully, Jesus is nothing like us. Instead of rejecting the woman, he did the thing he always does, that is, he did the thing we almost never do. He identified the sore spot in this woman’s moral life and jabbed his finger into it. “Go call your husband,” he said, “and come back here.” At this the woman dissimulated. She didn’t want to get into all that (her sore spot, remember?), and so she thought to put Jesus off by stating that she had no husband, hoping to imply she was single. But Jesus poked her again. “What you said is true,” he agreed, “because you’ve had five husbands, and now you’re living with someone to whom you aren’t even married.”
Here’s why our conversations are frequently less successful than our Lord’s. We’re not used to speaking so plainly, but Jesus did it all the time. He trusted the Holy Spirit to affirm in the other person’s inner being the truth of what he was saying. We, on the other hand, out of a desire to avoid offence, often shrink from addressing the other person’s real need—repentance from the sin that prevents them from trusting Jesus. In other words, we don’t really trust the Holy Spirit to do his convicting work (see John 16:7-11). We think if we speak too much truth we’ll be left high and dry with no way forward, that we’ll offend the person and leave them more separated from God than ever. Not so with Jesus. He pressed on and trusted God to do the convicting work that only he can do. Mark this down. Not every conversation succeeds in instantly making converts (not even Jesus succeeded every time), but God always honors people who trust him enough to insist upon genuine repentance as a necessary aspect of saving faith.
The woman, for her part, tried to change the subject. She admitted Jesus accurately described her relational failures, but she was still not ready to face her need to repent. Instead, she used his insight as an excuse to start an argument over religion, asking whether the Samaritans were right to worship on Mt. Gerizim, or whether the Jews were right to worship on Mt. Zion in Jerusalem. Logically, this is the same as when someone suddenly claims loyalty to Mormonism, Islam, or even some branch of orthodox Christianity. In Canada this will often take the form of a discussion about attending Sunday School somewhere as a child. But it’s always the same ploy. In an attempt to end the conversation, they will try to prove they are religious and at the same time push us Christians into some mealy-mouthed acceptance of their religiosity.
Unfortunately, evangelicals are often trained in these circumstances to avoid “arguments over religion.” But Jesus was having a real conversation and he answered her, although, as was characteristic of him, not in the way she expected.
First, Jesus told her plainly that a day was coming soon when mountains, temples and ceremonies would cease to have any religious significance. Second, in blunt terms he declared that only the Jews had any true knowledge of God. In doing this he references two things, the unique nature of Jewish knowledge of God and his ways (the Scriptures), and the unique nature of the Jewish hope (salvation through the promised Messiah). Finally, Jesus mentioned the Father, the object of true, and necessarily spiritual worship. The woman had been focused on the place and the method of worship, but Jesus drew her attention to the true, spiritual worship of the Person of God. Should we not be as frank? Why do we shrink from quoting Peter’s, “There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to people, and we must be saved by it” (Acts 4:12)?
That’s the moment when she started to “get it!” And here’s the amazing thing; contrary to all expectations it turned out this Samaritan floozy was looking for the Messiah as passionately as any Jew. “I know that Messiah is coming,” she said. She was declaring a personal hope in the coming Saviour. And when Jesus said, “I am He,” she was prepared to believe him with all her heart. A conversation that had begun with a simple request for a drink ended up making an eternal difference, not just for the woman, but for the whole village of Sychar. And if the stories that come down to us outside the Bible are true, this woman, her sisters, and her sons became powerful evangelists, preaching the gospel over much of the Roman empire until she was martyred by Emperor Nero.
Dear reader, should we not follow our Lord and hope that by his grace every ordinary conversation may lead to earth-shaking results? Should we not trust the Holy Spirit to take God’s truth and seal it to the hearts of our hearers? Should we not recognize that this approach to everyday conversations is truly the hope of the world?
Our Annual Be Ready Conference is back! This year at Be Ready 2020 our theme is ‘Conversations that Matter’. We'll equip you to have conversations with family and friends on matters of faith and culture. Learn how you can explain your faith to others and how you can strengthen your own family and children.